


Breathe

by nefarious_irusu



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety Disorder, Anxious Katsuki Yuuri, Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hugs, Mental Health Awareness Writing Challenge, Mental Health Issues, One Shot, Panic Attacks, Random & Short, Short, Short & Sweet, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-10
Updated: 2019-05-10
Packaged: 2020-02-29 17:59:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18783286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nefarious_irusu/pseuds/nefarious_irusu
Summary: May is mental health awareness month.





	Breathe

"What's wrong?"

Yuuri sucked in a breath so sharp he nearly choked on it, desperately trying to plaster a smile onto his face. He trembled as the blond drew closer, scanning him over with scrutinizing eyes.

"Nothing," he lied. "I'm fine."

Yuri scowled, teeth bared like a tiger ready to strike its prey. "You obviously aren't. You're a shitty liar. Now tell me what's wrong."

Yuuri released a breath he'd been holding in, long and shuddering. He swallowed hard as he tried to formulate a single thought that Yuri might understand, but came up short. His trembling turned into more violent tremors, and he sunk down to the locker room floor.

"Please don't be so loud," he managed. "Please."

Yuri was kneeling in front of him in a second, watching intently as Yuuri rocked in place, picking at the knees of his joggers. "Viktor isn't here today," he finally said, much softer than before. "Should I get Yakov or Mila or something?"

Yuuri shook his head- Yakov didn't seem like he would know how to handle an anxiety attack, and he didn't know Mila well enough to have her see him like this. He shook his head harder, resting it in his hands. Tunnel vision blurred the tiles on the floor, making them warp and spin as if they were coming towards him. Yuuri squeezed his eyes shut.

"Is there, uhm… can I help?"

Yuuri heaved dryly on a broken sob, shrugging his shoulders. He continued to rock methodically in place as the anxiety inside of his chest began to swirl into panic. He had been keeping this at bay all morning, and now it was coming to a head. He wanted no more than to get up and run away, sprint the whole five blocks to their apartment, but he was glued to the floor.

"Breathe, okay?" Yuuri gasped as a hand landed on his shoulder, stiff and unsure. "Sorry, I-" Yuri retracted his hand in an instant. "I don't know what to do. I won't touch you if I'm not supposed to."

Yuuri's hands ran through his hair, pulling at his locks just hard enough for it to burn, to keep him from sinking to far into his thoughts. "Y-you can," he finally managed.

"Okay," Yuri whispered. His hand returned, still unsure, but this time the warmth on his shoulder remained. "You're gonna be okay," Yuri told him. "I won't… I won't let anything happen to you, alright?"

Yuuri believed him, as awkward and tense as the words sounded. He nodded vigorously, untangling a hand from his hair and reaching out blindly in front of him, his eyes still closed. Yuri met him halfway, threading their fingers together and holding on tight. Yuuri squeezed his hand as his chest contracted with another wave of breathless panic, and Yuri didn't budge.

"Please stay," Yuuri babbled, still tugging at his hair with his other hand. "Don't leave, please."

Yuri's voice seemed closer than before as he squeeze Yuuri's hand reassuringly. "I won't leave. I'm here, okay? I'm not going anywhere."

Again, Yuuri could only nod with earnest. 

"It's gonna be okay." Yuri's fingers must be numb from how hard Yuuri was squeezing them as his chest caved. "You're gonna be okay."

"I'm sorry," Yuuri whimpered, unsure if he was still thinking about Yuri's hand.

"Shh," Yuri shushed him. It wasn't a sharp, irritated hiss that Yuri would normally expel, but it wasn't soft and comforting, either. But he was trying. "You can be sorry when I get first again next season, but not for this."

Yuuri let out a laugh that resembled more of a choked sob at that, but he managed to smile. "Thank you," he whispered. The waves of panic assaulting him were becoming less frequent, and the room didn't try to swallow him when he opened his eyes.

Yuri looked just as terrified as Yuuri's mind made him feel. "I'm sorry for scaring you."

Yuri furrowed his brow, turning his head away to try and hide the blush crawling up his cheeks. But he still didn't let go of Yuuri. "You didn't, I just… are you okay now?"

Yuuri chewed on his lower lip, caught between honesty and hiding the aftershocks from Yuri. "I, yeah. I'm okay."

Yuri looked at him harshly, squeezing his hand. "Shitty liar," he muttered. In a fleeting motion, he unlatched his hand from Yuuri's and surged forward, wrapping his arms around Yuuri's torso. He squeeze lightly, hiding his face in Yuuri's shoulder, the same place that his hand has occupied moments before. "I'm here."

Yuuri hugged him back, grateful to rest his head on Yuri's shoulder after the exhausting ordeal. "I'm sorry," he whispered again. "I just don't want to bother you any longer than I already have."

Yuri scoffed, shaking his head. "Idiot, you aren't… bothering me." Softer, he mumbled, "I know I fuck with you sometimes, but I would never… you can't control this, I wouldn't…" Yuri trailed off, but Yuuri understood what remained unspoken.

"Thank you," he murmured. "It makes me feel better to know that I can come to you if I need help."

Yuri sighed, pulling back and ending their embrace. "Are you okay now, for real?"

Yuuri nodded, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. "I'm okay, just a little worn out from it."

"We can stay here for a while," Yuri offered, sitting back on his heels.

"Thanks, Yuri."

And so they waited it out together.


End file.
